when i close my eyes i hear the flute

Written by Olivia Magee

when i close my eyes i hear the flute
being played by the man in the rose garden at the mission yesterday
but instead of a song
he plays one unwavering note in my right ear
and the fan blows under the covers
and my legs twist in my shorts
i wonder how it feels to be truly in love
cause i know you once were
i was at least lusting over a facade
but a long sturdy love
like nice hardwood floors or a well trained horse
is a faraway fantasy
love is a big idea i crave
i never saw it in my parents
i thought i felt it in my heart
now my ear hearts
and i’ve been craving a long cuddle and a few awkward kisses
i’d love to recreate yesterday
and never see today

opening your big fat mouth is hard
what would jesus do
the truth is hard
hardened and buried under rock
the more time passes and the more lies made the harder it gets to get to the truth
it’s so easy to lie to yourself about what you need
for example
i need to shit
but i can’t shit in new places

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